Dating Debacles

Like Lily, I will share with you my dating experiences to date.  

Guns & Grillz Greg*

Greg was my first online date, and my first date after moving to Miami.   He was hot and his messages were funny, so we went out to Las Olas, a strip with lots of bars and fun places.  Our first date was fun until on the way home he unholstered his (legal) gun and placed it on my lap.  Most girls wouldn't go on a second date after that, but I sort of like guns, and besides that blunder, the date went well.  On our second date he made me watch Twilight.  On our third date (I know, I know...but give me a break.  I didn't have any friends yet) he showed up at my door wearing grillz on his teeth and went on a rant about how AIDS was invented by God to punish gay people.  That was our last date.  

John*, what's his last name?

 John was very ordinary.  We had a good time on our first and second dates and started seeing each other fairly regularly for about 3 months.  We did favors for each other and drove each other to the airport when we went away.  I went away for Christmas break and he stopped talking to me...until Valentine's Day when he asked what our plans were...

Thomas*

Then there was Thomas.  Thomas and I started dating in January right after the John fiasco.  Every email he wrote me made me laugh out loud.  Our first date was supposed to be lunch on a Saturday.  Our date ended 11 hours after lunch.  Our second date was three days later and our third date was two days after that, and before you knew it we were practically joined at the hip.  But 5 months later he moved back to TX where he was from. 

Tony* the Tiger

Tony was my first date after Thomas moved.  I wasn't blown away by his emails and I had lukewarm feelings about his looks, but I was bummed about Thomas so I decided to go on a date with him.  We went to a Chinese buffet where he told me the ins and outs of being a security guard.  He also told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever been out with.  Tony never heard from me again.  

Slick Rick*

Rick and I exchanged a few emails and talked on the phone a few times prior to our first date.  The conversation flowed beautifully.  Then we went on a date to Lincoln Road where it seems we ran out of things to talk about.  After we finished eating, we went to see Inception so that we wouldn't have to talk to each other.  The movie made the date worth it.  

Bill* the Lawyer

Bill is a wealthy man, so on our first date he took me to a very expensive steakhouse on South Beach called BLT Steak.  It was by far the fanciest restaurant I'd ever been to, so naturally I had some wine to calm the nerves.  In retrospect, some wine was probably more like a bottle.  We went back to his place where I passed out on his couch.  This could have been a disastrous situation that I would not be blogging about, but thankfully, Bill was a gentleman and put me in his bed and politely spent the night on his couch.  You'd think if a girl drank so much she passed out on your couch during your date you'd run in the other direction.  Bill however, was not deterred.  We went out the next day and he has since taken me to a baseball game where we had arguably the best seats in the world.  

Crazy Chris*

You will learn more about me as this blog progresses, but for the purposes of this story, all you need to know is that I work at a state psychiatric hospital as a social work intern.  Chris and I met up at a coffee house.  I was particularly excited about this date, but when I arrived he was cuter than his pictures had led me to believe, so I held out a glimmer of hope.  We talked about all the first date stuff:  friends, family, school, and work.  So after I finished my schpiel about enjoying helping the psych patients and feeling bad that they'd lived normal lives until their psychotic breaks, he disclosed that he'd had a psychotic break 3 years ago for which he'd required hospitalization.  While I'm glad he felt comfortable sharing, I would have appreciated him using some discretion.  Certain topics are not meant to be discussed on a first date.    

--Rika

*Names have been changed to protect the identities of these poor men.